I Become Death
Halloween was always both fun and controversial in my community. My dad pastored a church throughout our childhood and we were always careful not to create a townwide ruccus with rumors of "demon worshiping pastor's kids". Our costumes were carefully picked but splendid. And, since we were careful with money, the costumes stayed available in our home for any other day we might want to dress up.
The skeleton onesie with 3D glow in the dark bones is my fondest costume memory. For years after buying it, the cheap rubber bones smelled sweet like desserts. It was somehow scary and pleasantly aromatic at the same time! I also love recalling the altered suit jacket I used, sticking my head through the buttons, to give the impression that I was a headless monster. I never thought to dramatize it as a beheading and my parents never suggested it. I think that costume took them to the edge of their comfort zones.
This year my work invited me to dress up for Halloween and I tried to decide what to wear. Now grown, I agreed with my family's decision to avoid celebrations of evil. I figured I might as well avoid fake weapons too since I work at a school. I saw, as I shopped, various cheap skeleton and ghost-face masks. And non-descript capes. It dawned on me; this year I would go as Death.
I am convinced that Death is a conquered enemy. It is a fearsome expectation that every human must prepare to face. Death has caused me immense pain and I am sure it will do so again. But I believe in a life after death with Jesus. The more I thought about the costume, the more content I was with the decision. I would go as something awful but true. Something devastating that I will eventually overcome.
And true to my nerd essence, I found a way to add classic literature to my costume. This was one of my favorite parts of the day! In my Halloween disguise I was offering introductions to amazing works of art. I stenciled red lined quotes onto my blank white mask, sharing some of my favorite authors and works. I want to finish this post with a sampling of these quotes.
“Until the dead alone seem living…” My all time favorite poet describes, perhaps, a class reunion in his work called “The Meeting”. Many of the once thriving community are dead and the reminiscing of the day makes those who have gathered feel less alive than those who have passed away.
“Until the moss covered up our lips” Emily Dickinson beautifully equates the concepts of truth and of beauty in her poem ¨I died for beauty -but was scarce”
“Because I could not stop for death” Dickinson again. A haunting but unconcerned depiction of being carried away by death
“Every man at his best state is but vapor”. A Psalm from the book of Psalms noting the brevity of life and asking God for wisdom. The imagery of a vapor has stayed with me for years after reading it.
“There is no remembrance of former things” An amazing description of life's futility from the first chapter of Ecclesiastes.
“Ask not for whom the bell tolls” This line was repeatedly quoted to me by an old friend. As I prepared my costume I found out the line comes from some lesser known writing of John Donne. An interesting piece to read and this one line has become infamous.
“Death smiles at all men. All we can do is smile back” Somehow I forgot to put this quote on my mask! This is one of my favorite perspectives on the nature of life and death. The first time I came across it was from the movie Gladiator. This movie is an unforgettable story exploring the well lived life and life beyond the grave.
