I think it’s joy
I’m not really sure what joy is. I feel silly admitting that because the people around me have been celebrating joy my whole life. And I know that I have joy. I’m just not sure what part of what I have in me it is.
I decided to think about joy and feel joy and talk about joy for the next 79 days. I started at 90 and today I’m at 79. It’s the number of days of work Jeni has left before pregnancy/maternity leave and I figured this will be a powerful encouragement for us during some physically tiring days. And keeping the idea of joy present around me has helped me sense it more clearly.
I looked up the word to help me live out joy for the time of special focus.
“the emotion evoked by well-being … good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires” (Merriam Webster Online)
“Well-being” or “good fortune” is a super cool thing to appreciate. I realized that most days of my life I have been stressed about keeping my well-being. Making sure I earn money, exercise, don’t get sick, network. I am always trying to keep it, but I don't usually enjoy all the well being I have. So these first 11 days of joy I’ve been literally celebrating my well-being. “I really like that I can walk to the park from our apartment. And now I know I am a five minute walk from my new guitar classes.” I say out loud to Jeni on our nightly stroll.
As I say it, some little piece of my brain processes the pleasure of that well-being three different times. Once to think of it, once to say it, once to physically hear it in my own voice.
It feels weird to say things that are obviously true out loud, but it feels good. I try it with a more important one “It’s so cool that we are going to have a baby. And we have a place to live.¨ Pleasing once, pleasing twice, pleasing three times.
In 11 days of trying this behavior based growth out, I already feel more conscious of my well being and my good fortune.
There is another piece of joy for me too, divinely powered. This experience of joy is strange but spectacular. I have joy in me that grows as I communicate with God. It’s a joy from being loved and being protected. God fills me with joy as I share my thoughts with Him, reflect on His presence, and seek to sense His messages to my heart. This joy also comes as I read Scripture that shows me what He is like.
This experience of joy is really special because it is possible regardless of circumstances. I think it’s the unnamed factor in an ancient letter that said “I found out how to be content. When I’m hungry and when I’m full. When I’ve got everything I need and when things are lacking. Now I’m content now matter how things go.”
So far living out both of these pieces of joy has been a pleasant and noticeably different experience. I love doing it as an attempt to gain strength for this period of life and I think it is also preparing me for my life experience after the birth of the baby! I am curious if the benefit of thinking about joy, feeling joy, and speaking about joy more will multiply with time or have a decreasing effect. That remains to be discovered.
